It's been quite some time since I've written one of these posts - nearly five years to be exact. In that time, I believe we've born witness to the death of lyricism in nearly all of mainstream rap. The majority of popular new "artists" are far less concerned with traditional hip-hop pillars such as well-crafted wordplay and clever metaphors than they are with making enough random drawling and grunting sounds to transform their songs into lucrative hits.
But alas, I did not come here to stand atop my soapbox and deliver hip-hop's eulogy. I came here to use my unique talent to delve into the mind of the common rapper and convey his or her message in a more intellectual (albeit less rhythmic) manner - no slang, no ad-libs, no context. Just English. Hopefully, I can raise some of these "lyrics" to something above a third-grade level.
So, without further adieu, I present: Translating Rap Lyrics, Vol. 4: "All Gold Everything"...
(Author's Note: Actual song lyrics are written in red, translations in black.)
[Hook x2]
Gold all in my chain
Gold all in my ring
Gold all in my watch
Don't believe jus' watch
Nigga Nigga Nigga
Don't believe jus' watch[x2]
Nigga Nigga Nigga
Don't believe me jus' watch[x2]
My necklace contains a substantial amount of gold. Similarly, so does my hand jewelry and timepiece.
If you find my claims dubious, I invite you to simply observe, my African American brother.
[Verse 1:] (Author's note: Oddly, this is the only verse of the song.)
This ain't for no fuck nigga
If you a real nigga then fuck wit' me
This one for the hood niggas
The hipster bitches that shop at Lennox
Dark skin, light skin, Asian and white women
Hypebeast we know aboutchea'
Don't buy shoes unless they popular
I do not make this decree for individuals I deem unworthy by my standards. If you are indeed worthy, I ask that you accept my invitation to join my inner circle.
This work is intended for those originating from low-income urban municipalities.
I'd like to take a moment to mention those pretentious females who frequent Atlanta's Lennox Mall.
A diverse group, they range in degrees of complexion, and can also be of Asian and Anglo-Saxon descent.
I am familiar with Hypebeast, an online retailer of trendy urban fashions, for I do not purchase footwear unless said shoe is currently well-regarded.
For the hoes, my Nigga
That's pussy poppin' that Magic City
Got that strong, my Nigga
Then come match that shit wit' me
Smoking mid, my nigga
Then don't pass that shit to me
Got that strong, my Nigga
Then come match that shit wit' me
Smoking mid, my nigga
Then don't pass that shit to me
I would like to give my regards to the morally objectionable females who perform lewd, erotic, rhythmic maneuvers at the local exotic dancing establishment, Magic City.
If you are in possession of highly potent marijuana, I invite you to indulge in this narcotic with me.
However, if your marijuana is comparatively substandard, I must insist that you refrain from offering it to me.
This one for my niggas
And bitches bout' that money (Cashout!)
Gotta love, Chesire Bridge
Them bad hoes at Onyx
I don't fuck wit' no snitches
So don't tell me who tellin
And bitches bout' that money (Cashout!)
Gotta love, Chesire Bridge
Them bad hoes at Onyx
I don't fuck wit' no snitches
So don't tell me who tellin
This declaration is directed toward my fellow men and women who hold their finances in the utmost regard.
I must also inform you that it is impossible to not hold amorous feelings toward the neighborhood of Cheshire Bridge, as well as the sexually appealing harlots who are employed by the strip club ONYX.
I harbor deeply negative emotions toward those who provide information to authorities regarding the illicit activities of others.
With that being said, I implore that no one disclose the identities of said individuals to me.
I harbor deeply negative emotions toward those who provide information to authorities regarding the illicit activities of others.
With that being said, I implore that no one disclose the identities of said individuals to me.
This one for them colleges
Them bad hoes at Spellman
Shout out to them Freshman
On Instagram straight flexin'
Popped a molly, I'm sweatin' (Woo!)
Popped a molly, I'm sweatin' (Woo!)
This work is also dedicated to institutes of higher learning and the enticing women of Spellman who are of ill repute.
Indulge me as I use this platform to offer my appreciation for the first-year university students who use Instagram to post boastful self-photos.
The ingestion of an Ecstasy pill has caused me to perspire. (Exclamation!)
I repeat, the ingestion of an Ecstasy pull has caused me to perspire. (Exclamation!)
Momma always told me, boy count yo' blessings
In God I Trust
So I kept countin' them Franklins
My mother often instructs me to keep an inventory of each positive gift I receive.
I place my trust in the Judeo-Christian deity.
This expression can be colloquially conveyed as, "In God I Trust".
Since this declaration is paraphrased on American currency, I account for every $100 bill that I earn.
I'm too fly, you know this
Lemme' give yo' ass a checklist
One gold watch
Two gold chains
Six gold rings, its NOTHIN' (God Dayum'!)
OG Jordans
Them high socks
No shirt on, I'm stuntin' (Okay!)
It is of common knowledge that I am considered highly fashionable.
Allow me to provide a detailed inventory of my garments and accessories:
And this song for those fuck niggas
Who hatin' on you this summer (Fuck Em'!)
Talk shit behind your back
But won't say shit in public (Fuck Em'!)
Finally, allow me to use this musical arrangement to address those aforementioned gentlemen whom I hold in the lowest of regards; the same gentlemen who spent the summer disseminating envious statements regarding my character.
I've noticed that these unscrupulous individuals are so cowardly that they express their ill will to their peers, but lack the integrity to make these declarations known to the masses.
Them bad hoes at Spellman
Shout out to them Freshman
On Instagram straight flexin'
Popped a molly, I'm sweatin' (Woo!)
Popped a molly, I'm sweatin' (Woo!)
This work is also dedicated to institutes of higher learning and the enticing women of Spellman who are of ill repute.
Indulge me as I use this platform to offer my appreciation for the first-year university students who use Instagram to post boastful self-photos.
The ingestion of an Ecstasy pill has caused me to perspire. (Exclamation!)
I repeat, the ingestion of an Ecstasy pull has caused me to perspire. (Exclamation!)
Momma always told me, boy count yo' blessings
In God I Trust
So I kept countin' them Franklins
My mother often instructs me to keep an inventory of each positive gift I receive.
I place my trust in the Judeo-Christian deity.
This expression can be colloquially conveyed as, "In God I Trust".
Since this declaration is paraphrased on American currency, I account for every $100 bill that I earn.
I'm too fly, you know this
Lemme' give yo' ass a checklist
One gold watch
Two gold chains
Six gold rings, its NOTHIN' (God Dayum'!)
OG Jordans
Them high socks
No shirt on, I'm stuntin' (Okay!)
It is of common knowledge that I am considered highly fashionable.
Allow me to provide a detailed inventory of my garments and accessories:
- One watch fabricated from gold.
- Two chained necklaces, also fabricated from gold.
- Six rings, again, made of gold. (Mind you, obtaining these items is of little challenge.)
- A pair of the inaugural Air Jordan basketball sneakers.
- Socks that reach to just below me knees.
And this song for those fuck niggas
Who hatin' on you this summer (Fuck Em'!)
Talk shit behind your back
But won't say shit in public (Fuck Em'!)
Finally, allow me to use this musical arrangement to address those aforementioned gentlemen whom I hold in the lowest of regards; the same gentlemen who spent the summer disseminating envious statements regarding my character.
I've noticed that these unscrupulous individuals are so cowardly that they express their ill will to their peers, but lack the integrity to make these declarations known to the masses.
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Lmao truly hilarious.... And for that we thank you
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious and informative lol and for that we thank you
ReplyDeleteI feel as if I'm doing a public service. Not enough is being done in this country to help the unwashed masses understand the messages these gentlemen are trying to get across. If we all do our parts, we can end this injustice. For just pennies a day, you can help...
ReplyDeleteThis was BRILLIANT!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, sir. I plan on doing more in the future.
ReplyDeleteIs that what that means?? Thanks Rashard
ReplyDelete- Kari